Here’s to traffic and the people who make it enjoyable for me…
Here’s to the Mom who decided the most appropriate time for her to load a huge red wagon and 20 boxes into the back of her van was this morning in the drop off line at school. Here’s to the Mom that made me wait for 10 minutes while her elderly father tried to help her. Here’s to the Mom that nearly made my kids late for school in spite of me leaving my house on time. Here’s to the Mom that chose to block the lane of traffic instead of parking in the space 50 ft in front of her with a sidewalk and ramp right there.
Here’s to the Dad who thought it would be a great idea to try and do a u-turn in the one lane drive to try and get around the Mom with her little red wagon. Here’s to that Dad who thought a he could turn a Ford F-350 around instead of trying to wait patiently without taking out the curb, a tree, a small child and the paint on the car to his right.
Here’s to the elderly man that cut me off as I was turning right so he could make a left in heavy traffic. Here’s to that elderly gentleman who decided to stop his car in the middle of the heavy traffic to do the right thing and let me in. Here’s to the guy that nearly got hit by no less that 3 cars because of his courtesy. And here’s to that kind old man who helped my children hear a barrage of words come out of their Mother’s mouth that included, “Please Move You Old Fart!” Here’s to that old fart who had my children in a fit of giggles and had me apologizing for my naughtiness for the next 3 days and begging my children not to do as I do.
Here’s to the dude in the shiny new car with the snazzy personalized plate that thinks his time and his life are so much more important than mine that he can cut me off across the double white line just before the interchange. Nice. Here’s to the dude who’s mother never taught him any manners. Here’s to the dude that probably cut in line for the water fountain and for the slide on the playground. Here’s to the dude who refuses to get in line like the rest of us.
I shouldn’t forget the guy behind me on the street marked 25 MPH. Here’s to you who will soon have a ticket. Here’s to the guy who clearly doesn’t know it’s a speed trap. Here’s to the guy who needs to thank me because I know exactly where the 3 cops are sitting on that street. Here’s to the guy who needs to back up half a car length or the day he catches me without kids in my car, I’ll be slamming on my brakes to avoid a squirrel and teach him a lesson. (Who am I kidding? There is always a kid in my car.)
Here’s to the lady talking on her cell phone pretending that every other car isn’t using a zipper method to enter a tunnel. Here’s to the lady that thinks just because she’s talking on her cell phone and not making eye contact that she can skip ahead two cars.
Here’s to the city/state planner or government contract guy who thought it was brilliant to add a gazillion lanes that go down to two in less than two miles. Here’s to that guy who lets me breeze right by for 3 miles only to sit in traffic for 2 hours just to get to the outlets at Williamsburg.
Last here’s to the guy who thought no one else would cause a traffic backup forcing him to run out of gas in the tunnel.
You guys make everything so much nicer around here. So here’s to you. Thanks.