I thought I’d let you know what I’ve been up to… alternately titled the really stupid things I’ve done in the last couple of days…
I freaked out yesterday looking at the clock. Bria was waking up from her nap. Oh my, she was waking up late. Never mind that she had been asleep for less than a half hour. I threw her in the car and took off for the school. I was an hour early. The sad part is, I’m pulling in, thinking there are too many cars in the front lot. Was there a fire drill? Why were so many people outside? Why is the car line so short? I look at the clock again. I proceed to sheepishly drive the perimeter while no fewer than 86 parents look on wondering what kind of stalker I must be. I mean, I now drive the white van that my mother always warned me about. As a classes field day was coming to an end, I drove home and gave Bria a snack.
Last week I was lost. I drove home about 7 miles out of my way. Not a big deal since we are new to the area unless you consider that Elfred, my GPS genius was calling me everything but a nice lady and telling me to turn my butt around.
My really high genius moment was Saturday. We ran around all day. Ray and the girls were treating me to dinner out because I don’t like going to lunch on mother’s day. It’s just too stressful with everyone hungry for lunch and I wouldn’t dare take Bria to a place that is nice enough for reservations right now. We have officially entered that phase. I asked to go to Bob Evans because I wanted to pick up a gift card for Ray’s grandma. We had actually had lunch out that day as well. I was truly spoiled. We went in. I took Bria to the bathroom literally 7 times. She did finally manage to poop. While I realize that you didn’t need that information, I needed to tell you. We leave after a nice dinner. I could not find my keys anywhere. I’m thinking I locked them in the car. I went through a phase in Virginia where I locked those keys in the car every day for a week. I’m planning a walk to the mall while Ray figures out what to do.
Never fear! The car was unlocked. The keys were conveniently located in the car’s ignition. My precious mom-mobile was still running! Yes, I said a prayer of thanks that no one wanted to steal my car, the GPS or goldfish crumbs and disgusting sippy cups hidden under the seats. I buckled seatbelts, put it in reverse and asked Ray why on earth he doesn’t drive anymore. Clearly, he’s more responsible than I am.
You want to know the really stupid and sad part. That’s not the first time I’ve done this. Years ago, I took the girls to visit Ray’s parents by myself. I left the car running in their driveway for over an hour. The only reason I knew was because Ray’s aunt noticed when she came for a visit.
That’s just how I roll…moronically.