I’ve been thinking about hair of all kinds lately. It might have been exacerbated yesterday because I took the big girls to a little girls’ spa to get a quick trim for school. I think I got a cavity the second I walked in the door. It was all things girly. There were make your own lotion and lip gloss stations. There was a plethora of candy available. I still can’t figure out why people give out lollipops with so much hair flying around. Much to my surprise a dry cut didn’t cost so much and they really needed trims. They left with glitter in their hair, tattoos, lollipops and smelly stuff sprayed everywhere. We were all happy.
As I was watching them get their trims and chasing Bria around the room, I got to look at all sorts of pictures which jogged my memory of the lady in front of me in the registration line at school. On Facebook I was generous. I said, if you are over 40, wearing a side pony tail is not attractive. I stand by that, but this lady might have been in her fifties. I’m pretty sure she was the grandma. I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and think that her granddaughter fixed her up for registration day. Then I saw all 6’2″ tomboy of her 5th grade granddaughter. Hmmmm. I don’t think that was the case. The other clue was that the top of her pony tail was the yellowing white color of hair that had seen one too many bottles of peroxide. The bottom of her pony tail was dirty brown. Then there was the tale tale sign of a growing out perm or possibly a crimper. Clearly, she had a serious appreciation for all things ’80’s. Her clothes didn’t match her ’80’s tendencies though. They were a little more grandmotherly. All that to tell you, throw back to the ’80’s if you want but side pony tails are for four-year-olds.
There is other hair too, like facial hair. I can’t tell you how happy I am that Ray is in the military. He can have a mustache and that’s it. Even though I grew up with my dad sporting a mustache, I’m as a general rule not a fan. I’m not a huge fan of any facial hair but particularly a mustache on my husband. Now, if you have a mustache, it’s fine. I know some women can’t imagine their husbands without one. I prefer to see Ray’s face with no hair. A couple of weeks ago, he grew a mustache…
I thought I could show my distaste and he would shave it off. I was wrong. I was quiet unless he asked me about it for a couple of days. Then I told him he looked like a porn star. I think that was the wrong thing to do. He actually liked it. Then I told him he looked more like a mall cop. That brought on a case of the giggles. I started calling him Paul Blart and threatened to buy him a Segway. Still no shaving. I’m not the only one who voiced my disapproval. His baby brother gave him a hard way to go too. I think the final straw was when the girls started picking up on my distaste and verbal assault on their father. They didn’t like it either but didn’t say much. Suddenly they started referring to the caterpillar on their Daddy’s face. After shaming me for being a horribly mean example for our children, I’m extremely happy to say I can see Ray’s clean shaven face every morning.
Clearly I have hair issues. Am I alone?