Today it’s pretty outside, but Bria is home. The thought of pushing all 36 pounds of her uphill in a jogging stroller doesn’t sound appealing. Yesterday Bria was at “School” for half a day. I ran on the dreadmill because it was raining.

One year ago, I couldn’t run one mile without stopping and wheezing, feeling like my blood pressure might shoot out of the roof. The other day I ran 8 miles before I stopped to tackle a hill. Holy crap! I ran 8 miles without stopping. I will be the first to admit when I get back from a long run, I feel equally high and like crap. It’s a good feeling.

Here’s the thing. Yesterday I was sending off paperwork. It was raining. I need to find time for a long run this week. I may be running but I am as slow as molasses on a snow covered Christmas morning. To do my long run takes me well over two hours at this point. Actually it’s over two and a half at this point. This week, I have a big old number 12 staring me squarely in the eye. TWELVE!

Here’s the problem I have with all this. By the time I shower… drop off and pick up, my long runs can take me the entire time Bria is in school. That’s okay. That’s what I pay for. But… um… this week. Bria has a Thanksgiving feast… which is a whole other post. (There feast is chicken nuggets, fruit salad and macaroni.) Arleigh and Hanan are also running their own race at school this week. Parents are supposed to be there. That’s just this week. In October, we were gone the first three weekends. Our neighborhood has no street lights. I can’t see. Running before the sun comes up and after it goes down is difficult.

Please remind me later that by running a half marathon the first week in December, in the midst of holiday chaos stressed me out even more. I’m officially at a point where I know I will finish. I have a goal though and I want to beat it. Between dismanteling a carseat after a potty accident, girl scout everything, glee club, piano, Mount Washmore and all the church functions… oh and lets throw in the girls’ race and all the Thanksgiving functions… this is absolutely the dumbest thing I did. Stupid. Crazy. Even crazier… the other day I finished off 10 miles. Half the reason I’m doing this is to lose weight. 10 miles…not one pound lost. Seriously.

After that first weekend in Dec. please remind me that for the last 12 weeks I’ve made myself nuts trying to inch out time. I know when I finish, I’ll think it’s time to try again.