So about a month ago, I tried to write a post about adopting a boy. One of the main reasons we are with the agency that we’re with is because they explained in detail how little boys wait in all of their international programs. We heard about all the boys waiting in their special needs program.
I know girls. They aren’t easy. They are squealing, loud, dramatic, sometimes frilly and sometimes not. Everything in our house was at one point pink or possibly purple. We’ve lived through princess stages and Fancy Nancy stages. We’ve moved on to fights over the Jonas Brothers vs. Justin Beiber. We do hair and training bras along with nail polish and tutus. Boy things… snips and snails and puppy dog tails, not so much. I have no idea what to get when the girls are invited to a boy’s birthday party. I stand in Target looking at things in sheer terror. Bakugan or Lego? I never, ever know.
One thing I know is, boys deserve families too. I had a hard time writing a post about adopting a boy because you still here the stigma that goes with being a female in other countries. Those girls, they need homes. They all need homes. The sad reality is, in international adoption, being born a male is a special need.
I had a bad experience recently. In a group of individuals discussing orphan care in Ch*na, we were asked what our personal experience was and what we saw as a need. I said that there is a misconception about boys not being available. In fact, boys wait. Jack is waiting with a label that he didn’t need to have. He has a label because there are too many boys waiting. The facilitator of the discussion who had adopted from Ch*na years ago, vehemently disagreed with me. She had other feelings. I wish her point was just that not just boys but all 147 million orphans need a home. That wasn’t her reasoning and it’s not a tangent that I want to go down right now. I guess that’s part of the reason that saying boys need people to step up is so hard.
We’ve had people say, “A boy… you had to put in a special order for that one.” This week alone, people wonder why we would have another child. It seems selfish of us to grow a family in case something happened to Ray and I at the same time. I think it seems a little more selfish to know that we have the ability to bring a child into our home who would otherwise spend their days in an institution. Selfish is knowing what you should do and ignoring it because it hurts a little.
I saw this video a couple of days ago. If you already have a son, or ever thought about having a son, please watch it. Share it. If one more boy gets a home because people are spreading it around, then it will be worth the 10 minutes it took to put this post together.