This is the post that could alternately be called Oh My Hell! We are well on our way to circus side show status. Last night my children were rumored to be desperately trying to chase down the ice cream truck on their bikes. We just watched that Dateline Special about kids been snookered onto an ice cream truck. There is Blue Bell ice cream…banana pudding mind you… in my freezer and my children are riding all over the neighborhood because they think they hear the siren bells. This is one of the culprits. I didn’t catch the other one.

Back to our circus side show act. I’m pretty sure that anytime you walk into a store, particularly a big box one, with four kids, you get the look…You know the one. It says things like, “Don’t they know what causes that?” and “Have mercy! What were they thinking?” without uttering one word. Bonus herein redneck land  is the fabulous, “I wonder how much they paid to finally get a boy?” Thankfully that one was only uttered out loud once. Unfortunately it was someone I actually know. Seriously.

Anyway, Sunday afternoon Ray decided we needed to load up the Mom-mobile and head on out to Petsmart. Good times. Arleigh and Hanan decided that it was absolutely necessary to add Tucker to the mix. So, are you following with your math. Two tweens + a buck wild diva + a boy who doesn’t always react well around animals + a giant skittish lab = one out of her mind mama and a daddy who is on a mission to purchase a dog kennel for the plane and can therefore ignore everything happening around him. Oh my word! Are you still with me?

I insist that the two littles must ride in the cart. It makes it easier to see the fish and kitties. There is the other bonus of containment but it’s a Mama secret so please don’t tell them. I have the cart. Hanan is flitting around. Ray is in full bore military man on a mission mode. Arleigh has Tucker. Did I mention that Tucker is deathly afraid of storms and the sky was turning black the second we got out of the car. Yeah, didn’t want to forget that. Walk on in and there right by the door is a beautiful and absolutely bigger than life pit bull. I mean it. He was the most beautiful color. His owner seemed nice. His head was also roughly the size of Jack.  The dog, not the owner. It was huge! Not…even…kidding. I’m pushing the cart, trying to add support to Arleigh on the leash. Get by quickly, dodge a bullet. I follow military man to the back of the store where Tucker totally disrupts obedience training as every dog behind the glass wall needs to play with him IMMEDIATELY. Jack’s eyes were roughly the size of saucers.

It was around this point that I decided to take Bria and Jack to see the fish. Hanan decided that as the future zookeeper, she should help her Daddy pick the kennel. Arleigh and Tucker followed. No worries. The pit bull was gone. We calmly walked around examining each animal and then went back to see just how many dogs we could freak out. That’s when Tucker did it. He stopped. He hiked. He peed all over and end cap in front of God and everybody. Tucker. The perfect dog. The dog who never does anything wrong peed ALL OVER AN ENDCAP!!!

I stood there looking at the yellow puddle. No purse. No wipes. Just bare hands. I had no idea what to do. I know what I wanted to do. I wanted to walk away, put my head in the sand, tell military man to deal with it…anything. That’s when Arleigh says it, “You know what the right thing to do is Mom.” Oh my goodness. That child. I was somewhere to between just smile and wave boys and pinching her fool head off. Yes. I knew what the right thing to do was. I just didn’t want to do it. I ducked my head. Actually, I’m pretty sure it was tucked between my legs. I found someone and was introduced to the OOOPs station. It’s a handy dandy station with hand sanitizer, cleaner, wipes and trash bags to put in trash bags. I grabbed what I needed and cleaned up the mess. We got what we needed and I brought my side show home. I’m pretty sure my head is still in its tucked position.

Oh my story doesn’t end. My ice cream truck chasing kids just walked in the house and said, “I thought we were on that My Kids Would Never Do That show.” Dateline anyone? The petal fell off Hanan’s new bike. Our neighbor, also a stranger fixed it for her…. with his kids and Arleigh watching. It is going to be a long summer!

I give up. Make sure you back up a post and enter the giveaway. That is all.