I can’t believe I haven’t posted since Wednesday. I started a post yesterday. Doctor appointments and Christmas lists and well, just not knowing what to say got in the way. Last week I probably would have started a post with the words “We survived!” I can’t imagine doing that now. I can’t imagine talking about my busy weekend… Ray’s command Christmas party, Arleigh’s 12th birthday party and extra kids sleeping over… with the words I survived in light of all that happened Friday.

Our weekend was chock full. We celebrated Christmas with Ray’s command across the street. It started at 11 and wrapped up around 3. There were games and a bounce house for the kids and a few adults who dared to try it. Cotton candy made it look like it was snowing in a room  in Hawaii while news trickled in from Connecticut. When I dropped the kids off at school Jack’s teacher asked if I heard about a school shooting. We talked about the blessing that no one seemed to be hurt. By the time I picked the kids up, I had to tell her the real news. It was absolutely surreal to grab Jack’s hand and watch all four kindergarten classes line up for release, Bria in the middle of them. At that time, we were hearing that a kindergarten class had been killed. I was trying not to tear up watching those sweet little faces so excited to be starting their Christmas break. I got to see this sweet face…

She was telling me about her Christmas party and the Christmas tree she made hidden under the tin foil away from the bugs. She was ready to get home to the ongoing party and the promise of a bounce house. I could eat her up. Some other mother won’t hear all about a class party or Christmas presents under the tree. She won’t get a five year old asking her to move over because she had a bad dream. It all seems so senseless.

I have questions just like everyone else. I’ve read everything since Friday… gun control or no gun control, school safety, how to protect your kids and how to talk to your kids about what happened. I posted one of the most important things that I’ve read to my Facebook wall on Sunday morning. I think it has since been picked up by the national press. This is the conversation that I think needs to happen. It will take you three minutes, but it is something we all need to read and carefully consider. Here it is.

This weekend, I was very happy to be on a rock isolated far far away. I actually heard a local say, “We have our own version of trouble…not that trouble.” For that I’m thankful and I count myself blessed. Mark Twain once said of my beloved Kentucky, “When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else. ” I think Mr. Twain never made it to Hawaii. In some ways, things really are much slower here. Because of that we were able to celebrate Christmas with Ray’s command and Arleigh’s 12th birthday. I’ll take the isolation right now.

There are lots of things that I could say about what happened in CT. None of it would help. So I’ll pray for the victims families and for healing and for change in the way we deal with mental illness.