I promise that the next great reality show shouldn’t be Toddler’s and Tiaras or Honey Whatever Her Name Is. If you want watch insanity at work, you would just tune into our Redneck Island Life. Let me set a few of the scenes that have happened this week…
Saturday morning, Bria is taking 392 hours to eat her breakfast. Usually it drives me ever loving crazy but it was giving me an excuse to avoid cleaning the kitchen for, I don’t know, the next hundred years. I look over at the island and she is thoroughly enjoying a newly learned skill of gurgling her milk. I motion at Ray. He looks over just in time to see the next gurgle. She sputters. Milk flies. She has absolutely no idea we are watching, trying not to bust out laughing. Her eyes were as big as silver dollars as she tries to swallow what was left in her mouth and wipe up the mess without milk flying out of her nose. Maybe you had to be there but it was almost pee your pants funny to watch her. I said just loud enough for her to hear, “Bria, don’t gurgle your milk.” She nearly fell off her stool. Ray looks at me and says, “That one is yours.” I have no idea what he’s talking about.
This week I sent a text that said, “Yes, I’m very worried about sedation. Also about taking home my redneck Chinese son with crossed eyes.” In my defense, it was the doctor’s biggest concern. Jack has a tough enough row to how with his lack of communication skills. Could you imagine that with crossed-eyes? Yeah, I’m singing praises those boogers are mostly straight. In other news the doctor says he could be seeing double are they could cross for us to two weeks. Go team!
I accepted the position of PTA president. No, I didn’t take it just for the blog’s sake but I already have a couple of posts that could be written. The funny thing about it is all the congratulations. Nuts! I tell you! One night Arleigh said, “Mom, every time someone says congratulations for being the president, you look like a tribute that has just been reaped for the Hunger Games.” My feelings exactly! I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Today these words came out of my mouth, “Ray, I think I do a pretty good job of accepting my inner redneck but you can not use a blue tarp!” Good luck with that image…
We also watched This is 40 this weekend. I thought it was a horror movie. We are living that life minus the foul language and the job problems and medicinal marijuana and the before body. Okay, there were a few similarities. I’ll leave it at that.
Stay tuned folks, our misadventures in parenting are just getting started.