Do you ever wonder if it would be completely inappropriate for you to whip your phone out and start videoing other people in the commissary? You know, like the lady that’s chewing gum and every time her teeth touch her eyebrows raise about 5 inches… 

Do you ever eat dinner with your children only to hear, “Mom, what kind of chicken is this?” When you give an inquisitive look, it’s clarified with, “You didn’t use chicken feet or chicken butt did you?” 

Do you ever walk in on your children having a burping contest?

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Do you ever wonder if you are the weird one? I mean it must be that I’m weird, right? 

Do you ever wonder if you’ll make it through parenting four kids once your oldest hits 12? Am I doing it right? Am I pushing hard enough? Am I’m coddling enough? I’m going to blink and they’ll be gone. I’m pulling my hair out but I don’t want it to be over. 

Do you ever look around and notice so many people your age (almost 40…like days to 40) are preggo and you aren’t madly craving a baby? I’m actually shocked. Then again, everything already hurts for the first 15 seconds I wake up in the morning and being pregnant sounds miserable in this heat. Good thing we live in Hawaii! 

Do you ever tease your tweens by implying that you might be getting a little nookie later? I promise this is the most fun thing about parenting tweens…Only to hear your five-year old ask, “Mom, what’s sex?” Oh crap! 

Do you ever walk into a restaurant only to have your children point out the exact number of caucasian families eating? I’m thinking this is probably a only in Hawaii phenomenon considering with it’s usually followed with an excited, “We aren’t the only haloes!” 

Do you ever get irritated when you are trying to get through Costco and the tourists are clogging the aisles because they have no idea what to bring back to their hotel room? Seriously, pull to the side… It doesn’t take 6 people to decide if you should by the 7-pound bag of maui onion chips. Let me help, get the chips and the grapes, buy the muffins, the milk won’t fit in your fridge, unless you’re starving the extra wraps will be soggy tomorrow. You’re welcome. 

Do you ever go out to enjoy a little Pho for lunch after church on a Sunday and the only child at your table not using chopsticks also happens to be Chinese? You should see the looks we get. 

After reading these, do you ever what it would like to live in my head? I’ll tell you, it’s exhausting!