I was on Soccer Mom duty tonight. Ray has been taking the lead on Hanan’s soccer practice. In fact, with the exception of one time when Ray relieved me, this is the first time I’ve taken and stayed this season. It was, shall we say…interesting?

First there were a couple of dads sitting next to me. I promise I was trying to ignore their chatter. Hanan practices on base. I usually think of military dads standing around talking shop. Not these two. They were henpecking more than any military wife I ever heard. Housing can be a hot button issue around here. They were leaving it all on the table. I scooted a bit in my chair to watch Hanan run her drills and opened my Honolulu magazine. 

While I was there, I noticed one child in particular. I think she asked to go home 563 times in the first twenty minutes. She could give Calliou a run for his money as King of Whine. I was sitting there thinking I wish I brought a sweater because the trade winds had picked up so much. Her Dad was saying she needed to get used to the heat. She cried. He told her not to wear a shirt with so much plastic on it. She ran a drill, whined again. He told her she was tired because her shirt was black. Huh? I heard the “You’re on a team” speech that I’ve had to give myself when it’s 7 on a Saturday and no one wants to go to an early game. This kid was wearing me out and she wasn’t even whining to me. 

Moms huddled in a corner with their toddler boys. One of them peed on a tree three times. Did I mention that practice is only 90 minutes long? 

I watched as one girl (the one that was called out by the ref three times at the game last week according to Hanan) three her elbow in Hanan’s side. By about the fifth time, Hanan was getting dramatic hoping the coach would notice. Hanan and I had a talk about passing the ball away from her during scrimmages. 

I texted Arleigh, played Candy Crush and listened as the men discussed the mostly cons on their list of each housing area. One of them must have just gotten on island. 

I watched as the coach ran off two boys trying to get his older daughter’s attention. She is on Arleigh’s team, helping her dad run drills with the younger girls. Heaven help me! 

Now I know, while I’m usually fixing dinner, Ray can at least be easily entertained when he takes Hanan to practice. People watching gets me every time.