Seriously, I could wax on poetically for hours about the Halloweens of my childhood. The trips to Big K for the square card box with the cellophane circle that held the plastic tie-on costume with the creepy mask. I was secretly hope the rubber band holding the max on would break giving me relief from it pulling my hair or allowing me to breathe. There were the soup suppers hosted by my grandparents at the mill. Hayrides and wondering if that house on the curve was haunted were hot topics. I could make you cry talking about my grandmother dying on Halloween night my senior year of high school. I was filming Sleepy Hollow at the local theater and was the only one not there. None of that today though because I need help.

Arleigh is currently up in the air about her Halloween costume. Hanan wants to be Athena. Bria wants to be an Indian. I’m still not sure which kind yet. Jack is going to be Mike Wazowski whether he wants to or not. The problem lies with me… I just found out that I have to lead the costume parade at the school. No small order in these parts. These Hawaiians take their Halloween seriously. REALLY SERIOUSLY. I don’t even know what to do.

I could be a Haole but that might send the principal over the edge. Some of the teachers dress like tourists but then I would be the haole and I’m in trouble. I thought about dressing like a kumu but that would probably be frowned up to. I thought about being the Tutu guy. (Grandma in Hawaiian.) Don’t know what I’m talking about because you don’t live in Hawaii?

Then I decided maybe I should be scary. What was the scariest thing I could think of? 

Honey Boo Boo and her mother…

Yeah, the Hawaiians would be terrified and they would have NO IDEA where I was going with that.

I could dress like a cop and play the Hawaii 5-O theme song…

Since Jack is going to be Mike I could always go with Sully…

I’m sweating just looking at that thing! I don’t think so…

I could be Freddy Krueger and try to make sure no one recognizes me. Wait, does the the kindergarten walk with me? Maybe I shouldn’t terrify them. That would be fun though. Should I be something pretty like Cleopatra? A traditional witch? A “cereal” killer? Makeup or no makeup? Maybe I should go as Katniss and totally throw Arleigh over the edge. 

I’m not the Princess sort unless I could be Buttercup and since I don’t think I can count on Ray to dress up as Wesley I don’t think that will work. Why does every costume I look at online start with the word “sexy” anyway? I can most assuredly tell you on me it wouldn’t be. Even the clown?

If bootcamp ever works I ever quit shoving food in my mouth and eating white rice at every meal…next year I’m totally going to be She-Ra! 

This year… I’m up in the air… Anybody have any bright ideas?