Mom used to call it “Briaese.” I call it Briaisms. Whatever you call it, it’s usually funny. It can be the way she says everything is “Opposedly” going to happen instead of supposedly. It’s her use of the word “duh!” I had no idea she was a product of the nineties… Mostly it’s the funny ideas that float freely. I want to remember it all because I’m well aware one day she’ll be talking to her buddies and not her mama.
Last night was her first soccer practice. That means I get Bria in the car all by herself. She talks from the moment we get in the car until, well infinity… Yesterday it went something like this.
“Bria, I think we may have to put off piano lessons for a little while. It’s getting to be too much.”
“Okay mom. I need to learn other stuff anyway. I want to learn the trumpet, the trombone and the tuba! And really the bass drum. (Pronounced like the fish instead of base.) Did you know it’s the biggest?”
“Well, you may have to wait for middle school for band instruments. They haven’t started you on the recorder yet.”
“But I saw the symphony!” She paused. “Miss Saito lied!”
“We saw the symphony and she said there would be a bass saxophone (still like the fish) and an alto sax. There were none!”
“Honey maybe the musician was sick or had a doctor’s appointment.”
“It’s still a lie.” (Insert discussion here. It may or may not have included how sometimes she says stuff that she thinks is real but isn’t and her sister says she’s lying. Insert another discussion when I get home. Sigh…)
We arrive at the soccer field. “Mom, can you carry my ball? You’re good at carrying balls.”
“Just dribble it, Bria.”
After practice. “Mom I don’t like the new coach. She wants me to kick with my laces.”
“I think Coach Sheri used to ask you to do that.”
“Yeah, but she didn’t care if I scored a goal with my toe! I can control it with my toe. I don’t like it.”
“It wasn’t even a good practice Mom. I’m not sweaty and there was no scrimmage.” The child is 7!
I got home from a walk around the block to find Bria with a sucker in her mouth. “Mom, I’m eating candy and it’s okay. I didn’t eat my yucky salad. I ate cheesey broccoli at Katey’s house. It was SOOOO GOOOOD…so it still counts for candy. Okay?” Bria and Katey, I’m sure at Bria’s urging, try to eat together whenever it is physically possible…especially after soccer practice.
Just another day with Bria…