We’ve had lots of incidents with Jack and his toys lately. Some have been funnier than others. Last week, I came home from boot camp and Jack was a big hot mess. Arleigh said that he was upset because he flushed one of his two favorite cars down the toilet. Jack has been a bit fascinated with her bathroom lately. The car is on the big side for flushing but in his “GRREEEEEEN CAAAAR go away!” stupor I assumed it had happened. Never mind the boy has stopped putting anything away and losing things on a regular basis solidifying his place in the Stiff household, or at least as his mother’s son. Jack cried over Green Car for a few days. I was a bit bummed because it was one of the toys we had delivered to him in China while we waited to be able to get to him. (He never got it until the day he met us but that is beside the point.) He still had blue car, red car and purple car and he clearly learned his lesson… or so I thought.

Grandma was delivered to Kentucky yesterday and we initiated Operation Clean The Darn House. Hanan was helping Jack in his room. I heard Jack yell then Hanan squeal. Sometimes this is an excellent sign and sometimes this is a reason to hide. I chose option wait and see what happens. Jack came running into my bedroom pleased as punch. Green Car had not in fact been buried at sea but was buried under a pile of crap in Jack’s room. Finding one little green car and reuniting it with blue car was very exciting for one little boy.

Things are always interesting with Jack’s “Toys.” At some point, he’ll probably ask me to not share quite so much. I hope he grows up with his mother’s sense of humor. (I’ll be happy to share the story of my zipping my giant five-year old belly in a jumpsuit…you’ll see where I’m going with this.) Grandma’s last day here included a trip to Hickam Beach. 

(Yeah, I just feel like being cruel. This isn’t even my favorite beach.)

Jack was wearing a new swimsuit. He was doing the potty dance, you know the one. We’re trying to make him speak more and the bathroom was close and we were at the beach…so I was waiting him out. He finally said, “Mama, potty!” and we were off. We get to the bathroom and he was having a bit of a personal problem. I still don’t know how it happened but he had a very UNCOMFORTABLE wardrobe malfunction. Like something was attached to an article of clothing uncomfortable. I’m a girl. I can totally deal with girl bits. I am not a boy. Boy bits are not in my level of competence, poor kid. I decided to wait and see if he could deal with it. Um. No. I try to help. This is not a part of Jack’s anatomy that he appreciated the pull and tug maneuver to get the board shorts off. I was doing the best I could which is not saying much under the circumstances. Jack is quickly going from uncomfortable to being in more than a bit of pain and I’m trying not to panic. These are boy bits after all. He starts to whine and yell, that thirty seconds seemed to last 100 years but we finally achieved FREEDOM! Can I please get a Hallelujah and an Amen? Jack looked up at me and said, “Mama said no touch the toy.”

I can’t tell you how hard it was not to fall over I was laughing so hard. Jack has been seeing and endocrinologist. He’s had a series of testosterone shots to help his growth. It causes certain side effects in boys. My mantra for a bit seemed to be, “Jack stop touching, that’s not a toy.” Something, as usual was lost in translation between us but it made a truly horrific experience a bit more humorous for me. The funnier part was watching Jack walk like an old man down to the beach and then try to tell his Grandma what had happened to his “toy.” Oh my! 

Jack got over his incident fairly quickly. I’ll just tell him to send me the therapy bills later. We’re working on parts of the anatomy with the correct vernacular. Poor kid had no idea what he was getting into with this family. 

In other news, Jack has his follow up today from  his testosterone shot therapy. As always, prayers are appreciated. 

I’m starting to feel like Jack’s eyes have taken over… this blog, our calendars, every day activities. I know it’s a short season and it will pass, but man no water is hard when you have a boy living on an island with a pool across the street. Bathing is a nightmare. Cream in his eyes four times a day and patching for six hours a day is taking it’s toll on both of us. I was hoping for some spectacular news… 

We did get some news. His eyes are healing, just ever so slowly… ever so freaking slowly. Jack is still at risk for infection. I’m trying to remember that we have skated through a major surgery with no infection…a huge blessing… instead of focusing on how SLOW the recovery is. I’m was praying about it this morning and realized his surgery moving up was a HUGE blessing. If we had to deal with no water through summer break I’m quite certain I would LOSE MY MIND. I’m trying to be thankful for the little things…clearly trying is the operative word these days. Actually I know we are extremely blessed that Jack’s surgery went as well as it did with no true set backs. 

Jack’s eyes were stronger this week. Patching has helped and our cool new patches finally arrived via amazon…

We have a whole host of boy patches to choose from that won’t curl around the ends. Even better…Dr. Young released us to two hours a day! That means no patch at school. The six hours were killing Jack. He doesn’t fuss about the patch or try to pull it off, but he is grumpier. His teacher can’t really decipher his communication style yet. She told me the other day he wanted his eye cream. I had no idea why he would say that, we call it medicine. In his grumpy moments, Jack has started yelling “I want ice cream!” If you saw Jack rolling around in the street of China screaming his full head off because I tried to give him a bit of my ice cream cone you would understand how funny we find this. He has become his father’s son asking for ice cream multiple times daily and not just when he’s mad. Anyway at two hours, we can easily do that at home and hope our boy is a happy camper at school.

Jack’s right eye is still turning in. It’s not bad. The patch has really helped speed up the healing process in that eye. His left eye is still rolling up. The patch is helping strengthen that eye. It was hard to know which eye to patch now. They both need a little help. The doctor finally decided to continue only with the right eye for now. We’ll just be back and forth to his office a little more in the coming months to make sure we’re getting it right. It’s all good. The valet staff totally knows us now and our schedule. I think I’m the crazy haole that tips. 

Even though we are under strict no water orders, I’m a little bit stir crazy and all the kids are too…even the four legged one. Last night, I grabbed Ray from his office, we picked up some dinner and had a picnic at Dog Beach. No water or sand reached eyes. We were careful and I was able to recharge a little aloha for my Mama heart. 

We have recitals this weekend but I see Bellows in our near future!

Jack is a hard nut to crack. Recently I feel like I’m going head to head with his teacher. There are only a few more weeks of school. It’s hard to decide if the juice is worth the squeeze if you know what I mean. Yep, heard someone else say that the other day and I knew I had to use it. It’s so fitting here. She won’t be his teacher next year. She won’t even be at this school. How hard to a push back? It’s hard to know. She recently told me that Jack needs to see a psychologist, you know in her professional opinion. I was wondering how a psychologist could learn anything from Jack considering any question is answered with “yes” because he thinks that’s what you want to hear. After talking with another mom I will ask his pediatric growth specialist when we go back if he thinks it should be a consideration. Why does it sound so wrong in my head though?

Jack is progressing at school. His fine motor skills are better almost daily. His speech isn’t where we want it but he’s recently started calling me out. If he doesn’t have my full attention I hear, “Mama, look at me!” The other day he was “reading” a book. He started asking me questions. I had no clue what he wanted to know. I heard, “Mama, just answer the question.” He’s addressing people a little more regularly including kids in his class. This is big news for us and he usually only addresses adults and maybe his siblings. He’s got letters, colors and numbers down. I think we’re ready to tackle kindergarten next year. He won’t be completely mainstreamed yet, but we are working toward that goal.

We had all the pre-op appointments yesterday. Jack was once again a total Rock Star. I know he was nervous. He managed to even communicate a bit with his eye doctor making the measuring process 1000 times easier. Jack’s eyes have progressively gotten worse in our time here. With each appointment his measurements are off even more. We know it’s time for the surgery. We know it will help him and yet… it’s scary business. This final appointment was for measurements and decisions. The decision was muscles in both eyes will be tightened on Thursday. This will most assuredly help but it may not be the final surgery. We’re prayerfully hoping it’s one and done.

After Jack’s eye appointment we snuck in some Korean BBQ. It’s the only meat other than a chicken nugget that I know he will eat heartily. Plus, there’s white rice. What more could a guy ask for? I’ll admit it. Yummy’s is a treat for both of us. I knew I would need it for his next appointment.

Jack passed his physical for surgery with flying colors. He was awesome. The medical assistants know Jack. I imagine that they cringe when they see his name. His first trip to the clinic, we could barely get him weighed and measured correctly much less get a blood pressure. He was screaming his fool head off from the moment I took him out of his stroller. Yesterday he walked in like he owned the place. He hopped on the scale, held still to get his height and held his arm out for a blood pressure cuff. Our MA was thrilled. He knew Jack loves Cars so he brought in Lightening McQueen and ‘Mater stickers. Jack was thrilled. Brian Domingos has made a friend for life! Jack was so excited for his stickers I think he guaranteed himself more on every trip into the clinic. Overall it was a good visit. Jack is a healthy little boy.

We’re pressing forward with surgery on Thursday. We’re nervous but also ready for the surgery and recovery to be over with. No pool or beach this weekend makes us all a little bit sad. Hopefully we’ll find something else fun to do. Prayers are appreciated that this week and recovery go by smoothly.

When we were flying to China I was filled with nervous excitement. I think part of it was because I just knew we would be one of those families so moved by all the children, we would be back as soon as we had settled to life in Hawaii. Um… in Hawaii. Maybe I’m still settling? Actually, we got to China, and as you’ve heard me say, Jack was clearly all I could concentrate on. I thought I would be picking up an active toddler. He at least seemed active in the few pictures we had. Instead, I met a boy with no muscle tone, tired and hungry and scared. He didn’t know how to chew. He could barely walk. Running induced falling. And the talking… well he can still parrot like nobody’s business but trying to get across what he needs to say still doesn’t happen. He is a bit better every day though. This is nothing you haven’t heard before. It’s just the reality. I’m also not as patient as I thought I was. Imagine that. Point is. Jack has changed us for the better but I can’t imagine at this point having the time or the energy to take on more. Would I feel obligated to try for his particular SWI again? Since bringing Jack home I felt knocked off course and well, a lack of purpose I guess. It’s hard to explain. When I heard from kiddos from Jack’s orphanage that were stuck on the shared list, I thought the least I could do is advocate a bit and pray a lot.

God is good and He answers prayers. Doesn’t it feel good when that fact is tangible and you can see it in front of you? The first little boy that I mentioned after bringing Jack home broke my heart. He reminded me of Jack. I couldn’t imagine leaving him there. Then over a few weeks we heard there was a family pursuing him. Iker Didi is going home in January! You can view his original post here. That makes three children, one is the son of a good friend coming home this month!!! I seriously have been somewhere between grinning from ear to ear and wanting to cry.

My friend Sharon is leaving TOMORROW to get her sweet son Paine and his sister Evie. That’s right I said and his sister. Check out Sharon’s family here. She’s already been to China three times to pick up sweet little ones. She has three older daughters too. I am constantly amazed by her strength, grace and courage. She is such an encouragement to me just when I need her and while I have spoken with her on the phone, I’ve never met her face to face. Once again, she stepped right up to help me even while packing to go get two more children to add to her family.

I mentioned that LWB asked that we try to get a photo album of Jack back to the orphanage as an encouragement that older boys (Is 3 and a half really older?) get added to the list of children available for adoption. Let me say that even with Jack’s delays, even with an upcoming surgery, even with the problems and frustrations, I can tell you we’ve chatted. If we knew then what we know now about Jack… we would do it the same way all over again. Jack is a blessing. If we can help any other family find their blessing, we’ll jump through hoops to do it. I’m so blessed to have a friends like Sharon who feels the same way. I had days with holidays thrown in to get her pictures. They arrived TODAY. Nothing like last minute. I’m thought and prayed about what to send in a letter. I’m sure Sharon didn’t realize I’m such a procrastinator. I sent it this morning to be stashed in the letter.

I’ve already received these pictures…

I’m so excited at the prospect of what this will do for the other children that we left behind. When we picked up Jack, he was one of only a handful of adoptions that had ever happened from this particular orphanage. I now know 3 families traveling in January. God is good. Please join me in praying that more of these kids can find their way into homes of forever families.

Recently my friend Andrea posted this video on her blog. It stayed with me.

Then, I was contacted by a friend at Love Without Boundaries. Sweet little Rosalinda who you helped me sponsor has been adopted!!! Huge praise!!! We will now be sponsoring a little boy from Jack’s orphanage, as soon as I receive his information, I’ll share it with you. And there is bigger news. Another family is traveling to China in under 2 weeks to pick up another precious child. So now, I’m in contact with two families traveling to Jack’s orphanage in under two weeks. Rosalinda is home. Three more children in a short period of time. When we traveled Jack was one of the first children to leave for adoption. We know of a few others. The orphanage has seen the good that working with LWB does. More and more kids are getting their paperwork sent in to make them available for adoption. Blessings upon blessings. My friend from LWB asked that we send pictures of Jack over the last year with one of these families along with a note. It would be an encouragement for them to see a child after they leave.

Holy cow! Living in Hawaii, getting things off this island with the holidays… it’s um…not always easy. I contacted my sweet friend Sharon, can you help? She is getting ready to travel to China to pick up TWO children. I didn’t want to burden her with anything else right now. Of course, she even volunteered to print pictures that I emailed. She is always willing to help anyone. I ordered pictures and sent them to her. She is putting them in an album with a message that we’ll be crafting later.

The orphanage is concentrating their efforts on younger children. Sharon’s son is Jack’s age. These boys are huge blessings… not to say it doesn’t come at a cost, but huge blessings indeed. It’s my hope that the orphanage director will see the change in Jack and give some of the other children a fighting chance at finding families. If the paperwork isn’t processed, they are not available for adoption. I was so encouraged last night and this morning to hear all the changes the orphanage has made over the past year. So encouraged. An institution is still not the best place for a child to grow up. Could I ask you to join me in praying that even more changes are made… until they all come home.

If you want to follow Sharon you can find her blog here. I can’t wait to see the pictures the day Payne is in her arms! A few days later, she’ll have Evie Claire too!!!

Someone around here got to go to school yesterday. Miss Kim reported that he had a great first day. He was a little tired when Ray picked him up. We’re excited he’s finally started and can’t wait to watch him soar!